Do you have Victim Mentality?

Do you know someone who seems to always be a victim in almost every situation in their lives? Someone who usually blame and has excuses for everything that happens.


If you notice these following signs, it could be that they have a victim mentality:

  • Bad things seem to always happen to them

  • The whole world seems to go against them

  • Everyone else is at always fault but them

  • They feel stuck and powerless in life

  • Their first reactions to their problems is blaming, giving excuses, and negative attitude instead of trying to improve things.

  • They have problems taking responsibility and ownership even when they are at fault.

And as a result, they are not able to reflect and make changes to improve their quality of life.


Victim mentality is an acquired personality trait in which a person tends to think of themselves as a victim of any negative situations


So why do I want to talk about victim mentality? It is because having a victim mentality can cause harm to our emotional well-being, damage our self-confidence, sabotage our personal and professional growth. It also can make us toxic and negative manipulators without knowing.


People who have victim mentality tend to negative self-talk as if everything bad always happens to them. They also believe that everyone is against them and they have no power over everything that happens. They give up putting efforts to make changes because no matter how much they try, nothing is working so why bother to even try?


And because of all the negative thoughts, they develop negative feelings such as frustrated, hurt, resentful, hopeless, anger etc... that will lead them to depression, loneliness and they feel more bitter in life.


People who have victim mentality have usually suffered through past trauma, hard times and bad life experiences. They might have been a true victim themselves in the past but they have not found a proper way to cope. So as a result, they developed a negative outlook of life and it sticks with them.


They often blame others for bad things that happen because they feel better for not taking any responsibility. And being a victim gains sympathy and help from others.


Due to the negative impacts of victim mentality. It is so important for us to understand and recognize whether we may have this mentality in order for us to and grow and improve our quality of life. There are a few ways to avoid playing a victim:


  1. When something happens, take time to reflect instead of pointing fingers at others.

  2. Take responsibility and apologize when we are in the wrong. This can be difficult at first but it will get easier through practice.

  3. Taking control of ourselves by setting healthy boundaries. We can always say no to the things that we don't want to do and we have a choice. We need to take care of our energy and our well being.

  4. Make peace with our past. Whatever happened to us was not within our control but we can always grow from it to become stronger and better for our future.


“The problem that we have with a victim mentality is that we forget to see the blessings of the day. Because of this, our spirit is poisoned instead of nourished.”

Steve Maraboli,


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