Do you find it hard to feel confident be it at work or in your personal life? Do you have imposter syndrome whenever a good opportunity comes to you?
You are not alone. We are all there and we know how it feels like to want to overcome your own self-doubts and grab the opportunities that we deserve.
Confidence is our best accessory and it defines who we are. I personally struggled a lot in my younger years because of my society, my limiting beliefs as a girl and how I was being raised. I used to believe that I wasn’t pretty enough, I wasn’t good enough and I should shy away from people. I was also made to believe that for us to get something or do well, we need to find a stable partner. To do that, I need to be slim and pretty. That was how I damaged my self-esteem and self-confidence as I was growing up.
Fortunately, since I moved to Singapore all by myself almost twenty years ago, my perspective changed. Being independent taught me so many valuable lessons and I would like to share how I transform from a person who had zero self-esteem to a confident and self-assured woman.
These are some limiting beliefs that hold us back from feeling our best and grab the opportunities that we deserved.
1. You cannot accept compliments, put yourself down to make yourself humble.
We do not accept compliment where it’s due graciously. When someone praises us for our beauty, talents or achievements, we tend to say no, they are too kind or it was because of this person or that person or our luck etc... We want to be humble so we disregard the fact that it was because we put in a lot of time and hard work and we totally deserve it. Instead of pushing it back, we should accept it graciously by saying Thank you, I really appreciate it.
2: Our voice does not matter
We think our voice does not matter. As women, tend to overthink a lot and before we say anything or do anything, we have 100 reasons why we should not share our ideas and afraid that no one would listen to us. By doing that, we second guess ourselves and it will impact our confidence level. Please remember that every voice and idea is unique, and you need to share it no matter what. If it is working, it will make you more confident, but if it is not, it will give you an amazing learning experience and you will be better next time and thus, you will be more confident. So don’t be afraid to share what you want to say.
3. Men and women are just different and no one is more superior.
We tend to think men are more superior to us at work. This was because of the history and what we were conditioned to believe. Firstly, we need to remove that mindset. Secondly, we should stop trying to prove that we are equal with men because there should never be a comparison in the first place because we are just different and no one is more superior than the other. Yes, life can be unfair sometimes, no matter which genders you are.
I personally have never had a problem at work for being treated any less than men and I never felt so. In fact, not having that mindset and comparison has helped me so much in term of being the best version of myself at work to pursue what I want and speak my mind. It is all in our mind and we should remove this limiting belief for us to focus on working on ourselves and become more.